Miss Kee was my piano teacher. I started taking lessons when I was six years old. Her house was 5 minutes walk from my Grandma's. Sometimes my grandma would walk me there or waited at the gate for me when the class is over. My grandma knew Miss Kee's grandma.
Miss Kee's house had a badminton court and a nice garden. I love sitting at the swing after my lesson was over.
The first few years was ok. As I got to higher grade, Miss Kee wanted to focus on her students in Singapore, thus she had her younger sister - Kannie take over my class. At that point, my class was attended by 2 other students - Li Kai and Jamie.
My mum said Miss Kee's mum was a bit of the snob - she was nicer to students from richer families. Maybe my mum felt this because of her inferior complex. She is always feeling other people have better lives than her.
One of my last lessons with Miss Kee was right before my Grade 8 exams. She had not seen me for some time. She was not happy with my performance. She felt I was not ready for my exams. She got to a point where she got really angry and was scolding me. I cried. My tears dropped on the piano keys, when Miss Kee noticed them, I quickly wiped them away.
I was 14.
She was perhaps the first adult - aside from my parents - who made me cry.
I failed my Grade 8 exam and did not continue with the lessons. After that, Miss Kee's mum called and asked if I wanted to attend Miss Kee's wedding dinner. It was one of the most ridiculous questions I have ever heard. Why would I want to go?
I started learning cello when I was 41. I often compared my cello teacher with Miss K. They were of similar age. Sometimes I felt maybe I have placed unrealistic expectations on Miss Kee. I expected her to be the kind, gentle and patient - the typical piano teacher we see in movies. All the while, probably due to my mum's influence, I felt she looked down on me as well, because I didnt have perfect pitch and was not musically inclined.
Miss Koe was my English teacher in Form 4 and 5. She was petite but was firm with her students. No nonsense kinda teacher. She once brought me to a spelling bee competition held at another school. She drove. During the journey, she took one sweet out and ate it. Without offering me any.
I felt she like my friend Sze Kiat because Kiat's parents were doctors and her english 'seemed' better than mine.
During one class, one of my classmates commented : Aiya, teacher, you very rich one lah
To which she replied : Teachers are not rich, you can ask Althea.
My parents were both teachers. Her remark was humiliating. I was horrified and speechless.
For years I have pictured different scenarios where I would humiliate Miss Koe in front of other teachers for what she said.
I couldnt get over it.
Some months ago, I realised it was not her words which hurt the most. It was the fact that her words revealed the inferiority that I felt which made me vulnerable. I had to face the truth that I felt inferior because my parents were teacher. That somehow my family was not rich enough.
At 41, this is puzzling. Teaching is a noble profession. My parents had provided everything that we wanted. We lived in a semi-detached house with a decent porch and garden. Why made me feel inferior?
Probably it was what my mother always felt that got into me.
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