My sister texted and called to say she is looking for a studio to move out by end of the year. She will need to take cash advance from her credit card to pay for rental.
My stomach churned and I had to go to toilet after hearing it.
But it's ok. Sometimes you gotta let it happen. Let things happen, let people take care of it themselves.
Maybe it'll turn out ok.
I remember the lights in the operating theatre when I had my appendics removed 11 years ago. Or maybe I just remember the lights shown in the dramas. :) One day if I am lying below these lights again, would I feel sad or regretful of the things I havent done in my life?
Maybe I will. Then I shall focus on myself more. Every moment.
The other day, when my friend share the messages she received from friends before going into surgery, I caught myself comparing myself with her friends. I was telling myself : see, there are other people who are willing to do more for her, I should do more, then my friend will be closer to me.
That was quite a realisation.
Yes, friendship is based on what you say and do for your friends. But it's not built on entirely how much you do.
My action is more to get acknowledgement. There will be no end to this.
There should be not so many SHOULDs in my life. Just BE.
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