Today I Accept

 Today I accept that my sister's life is as the way it is. No more thinking it should be better, she should be doing this and that..

Today I accept that I will always feel fear when my sister is in trouble or distress.

Today I accept that fear will always be there, I will stand with it side by side.

Today I accept that I have my own way of soothing myself, other methods may work for other people, I will do it my way and it works.

Today I tell myself that Althea, you have done your best. You have always been trying. 

Today I feel my voice is stronger and more comforting. I am enough. 

RIP Lobak, ALT 217

Lobak died today.

I cried with my sister.

I dunno how long it's going to take for her to walk out of grief.

After I left her house, I saw a car with the car plate ALT 217.

Its my initial and my lucky number.

God is telling me he is looking out for me. 😇

Why I like public speaking

 I realised the reason I like to speak in public or whenever there is a sharing session, it's because I don't have many chances to speak at home.

I am always listening to my mum, sister and friends complaining. Often I wonder why they don't ask how I am doing. It's not like I lead a perfect life.

I listen to them complain so much that I relish the opportunity of having someone listening to me. 

Will

 Today I am glad to know my parents have started drawing up their wills.

My husband warned me that being the executioner will require a lot of work.

I am just happy that something I put off for so long finally gets done.

I will cross the bridge when I get there. 

Seeing from another perspective

 After reading part in The Book of Joy where the Dalai Lama mentioned living in exile has given him many opportunities to learn and to meet for people, I started to think if I can see my problems from a different perspective.

I remember in my early 30s, after feeling sorry for myself and blaming God for giving me problematic siblings, one day it finally struck me that regardless of how my siblings were, God has been very kind to me. The problems with my siblings were their own problems, nothing to do with me, nothing to do with how God was treating me.

So the good thing was, having problems helped me to see how lucky I was and how kind God was to me. 

Books I enjoyed in 2022

1. The Book Of Joy

2. 与神聊天

3. 椿山课长的那七天

4. Being Mortal

5. 喂养温柔死神的方法

6. 银河食堂之夜

7. Sometimes You Win, Sometimes You Learn

8. 活出真正的自己就不会再生病

9.  做孩子需要的妈妈就好

10. The World On Sale

11. 被讨厌的勇气

12. The People Pleaser's Guide To Loving Others Without Losing Yourself 

13. 意外抽得幸运签

14. 书房的钥匙

15. Anxious People 

43 Today

I turned 43 today.

I went to bed after midnight last night feeling peaceful and relaxed.

At least I made it to 43. Aging is a privilege denied to many.

Today I started feeling : is this it? I feel like I didn't accomplished anything in life. Or maybe it's becos it's Monday tomorrow and I have WIP first thing in the morning.